Focus on real possibilities

I’ve been thinking of what my priorities should be. My sister has a one month year old son, and now her priorities are changing toward more focus on family.  A lot of people around my age start families and so forth. I’m still single and can focus solely on myself for awhile. So other than work, I have options on what I want to do and what to spend my time on.

I’m great at making ambitious goals, but I think I’m going to try to make more practical ones. I want to progress at things, but I may not be the best or stand out at what I try to do. Everything takes years to learn, and phrase ‘putting your time in’ echoes behind every success story. A few weeks ago I scratched my novel attempt, and I’m not going to pick up that story line again. Instead every week I’ll write an entry in this blog, even the weeks I don’t have much subject matter, and maybe write some essays, articles, and short stories. If I can consistently do that, became a consistent writer, maybe in a few years I could try to write a longer piece.

Writing is something I want to do, but I need be realistic about it. There is nothing quick about the writing process. The delusion to spend four months writing out a novel and then selling it to a publisher for millions is a ridiculous way to think. But that’s how my mind thinks, I think of vast riches and major success.  I have an over active imagination which could be a good thing in a writer, but I need to reign in the day dreaming and think of trying to do things I am capable of. Writing a quick and clean commercial novel might not be possible for me, because I need to work on becoming a writer. I’m not a writer right now, I’d like to be one, but I need to learn a whole bunch of things first.  I never research anything for the stuff I write, and that needs to change.  I need to brush up on my grammar and eventually be a grammar expert. There is no really time frame on this, so I think to take small steps, but enough to make writing a routine is the answer for me.

One thing I have decided to focus on is the gym and skateboarding. Three weeks ago I stepped it up a little by shifting my aerobic workout to running on the treadmill. I’ve been simply going for twenty minutes but going as fast as I can. The lifting I kept the same, but the running is wearing my out. On weekends when I skate I’m so sore that it’s been a hindrance. But I feel I’ll be stronger from this and by June I’ll be in better shape and a better skater. I guess I make this workout change when I realized that my Vegas trip was coming up.  And at Vegas there will be a pool. Half joking that was motivation, not to have a belly by a Vegas pool. It is less than two weeks so my gut will still be with me. Having more intense workouts has been good for me, and being lighter and stronger can only be beneficial. Tonight when I saw my sister and nephew, my sister mentioned I was probably too skinny when I trained for a marathon ten years ago. The goal is not to look like that, but the good thing about an exercise program if you stick with it, is that you do see results.  To me I can gauge my progress with exercise and skating more so than with my writing.  On a treadmill or a timed run you can see on the clock that you are going faster. With skating you ollie something a little higher or land a trick cleanly that gave you problems for awhile. I was an active kid, and I think it’s something I can relate to. I think making exercise and skating one of my life focus is a good thing to do. I think I have already been doing so for the past year.

On Saturday I skated at Flushing Meadows Park. The skate park there was so crowded that I found it hard to skate. On my way to the skate park I saw people skating in the famous Unishpere from the 1964 World’s Fair.  Since the skate park was crowded my friend and I went over there. I guess the parks people do not care if people skate in it. This spot has been skated in for a long time in NYC and several skate films feature it. The ledges on the outside perimeter are a little high for me, and I could barely noseslide the thing. However the ground in there is smooth cement painted blue. It is the perfect surface for skating. Saturday was a perfect day, and at the Unisphere and the skate park I saw some phenomenal skating. Sometimes even though I know a lot about skating and love it I feel like a spectator when I see people that are really good. I was sore and not skating that well. I took a lot of breaks and just watched some of these guys. I was at Flushing Meadows for about four hours, and it was a great day.  This is a great way to spend my days off. I may never get to a really good level, but that doesn’t matter. My goal is to progress for me, and just soak in what’s going on with skateboarding right now in New York City. I can be an avid skateboarder and skateboarding fan at the same time.

Lastly I know I planned to never to blog about work. I’m not sure if I want to write regularly about what’s going on with the budget in NYC libraries if I should do so with this blog or if I should start a separate blog devoted to the issue. One thing for sure is that I’m going to get involved to promote libraries against the proposed budget cuts.  A lot of this I’ll need to do on my own time, like attending rallies and events. I always talk of my personal goals but I am a dedicated librarian, and want to have this as my lifelong career.

Anyway, my whole thing I’m driving at with this entry is that I’m going to try to concentrate on things that are attainable, and not to have vain and false ambitions.

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