Goals can be a positive or negative force in one’s life. I think the key is making them reasonable and attainable. Lofty pie in the sky win the lottery and quick riches with little work is just day dreaming. Everyone can have fantasy land, but I’m afraid too much day dreaming can only lead to a let down.
So as a 34 year old single employed male what should my goals be? I look at family and friends my age starting their own families. I think that once people have kids the goals naturally shift to family and making a future for their children. Without having my own family tribe at my age makes numerous options for goals. Should I focus on making myself relationship ready to start a family, or should I pursue selfish ambitions with writing, skating, and my career?
One advantage of being single is that it’s all about me; I’m free to focus my attentions and pursuits on what I want. I also need to self evaluate a little more clearly because I have not attained all that I want. Considering what I went through in my teenage and early adulthood years I’m doing well for myself, probably better than a lot of people’s expectations. But I always had a pie in the sky mentality that I would be the best at something, an award winning author, the richest gambler, a professional athlete, a James Bond figure, or some other fantasy nonsense. A lot of my goals are unrealistic. When I try to write fiction my drive is not to finish the story and practice but to have a literary acclaimed prestigious work. One reason I’m single is because I envision myself with models and not simply a normal good woman.
Everyone day dreams but I day dream too much. I believe I need to keep it simple, perhaps in right or wrong terms. If I tell myself I’m not going to drink, than I stick to that decision, and move on. I should not buy a 6 pack like I did tonight because the rain made me bored. With exercise and skating I should practice regularly and try to progress, but have reason on what to expect. My dad pointed out that in Major League Baseball I would be near retirement. Watching the X-games this past week, most of the skaters were in their late teens or early twenties. I will never skate that good, and shouldn’t expect to. That doesn’t mean I can’t progress, but I’ll never be recognized for my skateboarding skills. With writing I need to realize that I need to do it more, and take a step back and learn some of the basics like structure and grammar. This Sunday I’m going to an all day writer’s workshop through Gotham Writers that I’m looking forward to. I should write some short fiction pieces and maybe some essays instead of focusing on a novel all the time. With my career I should do my best in the day to day work, and never take it for granted when so many people are unemployed right now.
Basically I need to simplify my goals and get into the mindset that I don’t need to be a superstar or famous at anything. Most famous people are fake or have so many obligations to other people that their whole lives are scheduled and they are pimped out. Fame and fortune is not a good goal, that is what I need to firmly believe and concentrate on self improvement without the nonsense.