Getting Back on The Wagon, Hopefully for a While This Time

In the never ending quest for more blog views I’m going to get personal on this one. I hope that going public will give me incentive to make a positive life change, after many failed attempts. I smoked cigarettes off and on from age 18 to 32 before I quitted permanently. I’m not blasting coke or out of control, but I know I should basically not drink at all.

Since I was 17 I’ve taken medication for a serious condition. Throughout my adult life this has been a consideration for me. But going on a few decades my troubles seem like a memory even though I’ll take this medication my whole life. I’m not supposed to drink at all, but I’ve gone back and forth throughout my adult life. I’ve never gotten to the alcoholic stage or drinking everyday. I’m more of the binging on the weekend type.

For about two years starting in 2009 I did not drink at all. Most of what I remember was being bored, and having no social life. That is something I’ll need to work on, I need to replace nights out with a positive endeavor. I’m hoping to skateboard, start running, and be more active.

Even though no doctor would tell me to go ahead and drink on my condition, I’m not worried about a relapse. In the past four years I’ve taken Benadryl to help me sleep. A lot of times I over sleep on my days off. Today I slept until four pm. I did not go to two skate sessions today because I slept so much. Luckily my friend was at my local park so I got to skate with people in the evening.

My doctor feels that my medication and Benadryl are a good combination that I should not stop. I think that in the past three years adding alcohol to that cocktail has made me exhausted on weekends. I make it to work everyday, but if I’m able to I sleep too much. Also in the past few years I’ve done some risky behavior. I would not have done that behavior without being drunk or stoned.

My doctor has told me this repeatedly, that I can’t compare myself to others on this issue. For me I function better sober, and I need to realize that. If I want to skate well, write well, exercise and do stuff in addition to my career, I need to be focused.

On the opposite note, I have fun partying. I can’t imagine never being inebriated again. But I know with every night out, I’m more likely to make it habitual. There is a little bit of a chill in the air, so my goal is to hibernate for winter already, be more active, lay off the booze, and reevaluate in spring.

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